The topic of Parents or Volunteers is always heavy on the mind of the pastors to students of all ages. Who fits where and why as the teacher, motivator, discipler, craft person or creative genius in the preteen ministry? I have read Collaborate and right now I am reading The Future of Children’s Ministry. Both of these writings point out the obvious answer to parents or volunteers. The answer is both.

The leaders of the preteen ministry where I lead at are parents. They have children in teen ministry and preteen ministry. Here is the point with these parents they have a heart and ownership for the ministry. They are sold out and growing everyday in their commitment to this ministry God is continually growing on their hearts.

Building Relationships

What is the current landscape? Where is all of this leading to in the future? I believe as I have been coached that the current landscape is building relationships and always has been about building relationships. This is the best way to build teams. In the future, which is now, is allowing the students to grow as leaders, build a team and to implement ideas with the help of the adults who have chosen ownership to the ministry over just filling a spot.

My elaborate plan involved Tina following clues to different locations that were significant to us. At each location there were friends or family waiting to hand her the next clue. It ended with her arriving on the church grounds where we met as staff members at Summerama Day Camp.  I remember being nervous, not because I thought she’d say no, but because life would never be the same once she said yes. But I also felt totally at peace in that God had blessed our relationship and my experiences with her over the past three years led me to know she was, as they say, “the one”.

Hypothetically though, let’s say I did my huge proposal just as I described above in perfect detail with one exception:

I proposed on the first date!

How do you think she would have responded?

When it comes to ministry volunteers, you need to think of volunteering a lot like dating.

You would never propose to someone on the first date, so you shouldn’t expect your volunteers to make a long-term commitment with you right away either! With dating, you slowly start hanging out, peeling back layers date by date. Eventually, you find yourself so in love with the person you have met and you cannot imagine spending another day without them. Well, when it comes to volunteers, take the same approach!

Often we throw potential volunteers right into the fire of programming.

We ask them for long-term commitments, heap responsibility on them and eventually they are scared away. Instead of the all-in approach, invite them on a first date (ok, do not actually say it that way though). Whenever a volunteer is interested in 56 Ministries, I invite them to come and observe for a session. I also buddy them with a volunteer who can show them around and who they can tag along with in small groups. I don’t ask them to lead anything, to speak up front…nothing! I simply let them watch. Then, if they liked what they saw, we can talk about partnering up in ministry. This way, volunteers are not overwhelmed and have the opportunity to actually experience what they are getting into.

Well, they have a point, but I don’t use it. And to be honest, the entire ministry is better for it.

I recently began to purposefully erase the main point from my messages when speaking to preteens so that our small group leaders could deliver that point. I was tired of giving them all the answers and watching them regurgitate it in small groups, so we made a change. This change has led to a meaningful discussion time in our small groups.

Here is my process for using this new style.

While preparing my message, I include the main points. Then, I go back and replace each point with a question that leads preteens to reach that point on their own. The message raises a felt need of each preteen, leads them to search Scripture, and then they must digest everything within the context of their small group. Instead of regurgitating my points, preteens are having powerful conversations each week that are leading them to study God’s Word and apply it to their lives.

Here are some of the benefits of the new style:

• Asking questions helps preteens to own their faith and draw conclusions.
• Asking the questions during the teaching  gives students more time to formulate their thoughts so that they are ready to discuss in small groups
• Small Group leaders are given credibility and reliability. They are leading the students in discussion and delivering the main point of the message, so they become a source of wisdom for their students. (This has been the greatest benefit because their influence with students is far more important than mine.
• Asking questions allows more space for the Holy Spirit to move in the teaching time. I realized that my main point was often what God wanted to reveal to me through Scripture, but He often wants to reveal other things to preteens.

No point actually leads to better points.

If the point of the message is not clear and concise, it is really difficult to lead a preteen there with questions. This style has forced me to really focus on what I want preteens to take away from the message.

Does your teaching style help or hurt small group discussion?

This week try teaching without a point and see how is changes the dynamics of your small groups. And then tell us all about it!

So as we teach and as we lead worship, allow yourself to learn from them as well. Be humble enough to let the young kids you teach to teach you. Follow them in their simple, pure worship. And have fun!

Be a disciple alongside them; don’t just teach them to be disciples.

Simple thoughts, but they can push us beyond what we thought we were capable of.

I’ve been there, trust me, I’ve been there.

The well thought out lesson, great Biblical content, and some nice power point slides. You are ready to teach God’s Word!

Except Sunday comes around and, well, you know how this goes. Some kids look asleep, others look like they cannot stop moving, and the same two kids answer all the questions.

Which begs the question, “How do I teach these kids effectively?”

One of the things we do not take into account when we teach is learning styles. All preteens are not created equal; they all learn differently. If you work your way around the learning cycle you will effectively be catering to every preteen’s learning style and keeping them engaged. Here are the four segments of the learning cycle (with examples from the story of David and Goliath).

The Imaginative Learner (Hook)

The Imaginative Learners can help the whole class establish the “why” of the lesson. Why study this subject? Why is it important? They can draw on past knowledge and experiences and share with their peers why everyone should pay attention to this subject. This part grab’s their attention!

Imaginative Learners ask the question: Why do I need to know this?

Example: Show pictures of armor and gear from the Bible. Bring in a slingshot and 5 stones.

The Analytic Learner (Book)

This learner will excel in learning information in Scripture that brings content to feelings. The teacher in this quadrant needs to add new facts to what is already known. Analytic Learners ask the “what” question.

Analytic Learners ask the question: What do I need to know?

Example: Telling the entire story via a live skit.

The Common Sense Learner (Look)

These students pick up on the practical side of the problem. Common Sense Learners do not feel that it is enough to know the content about the subject. They must find how to put what they know into practice, make it usable. They answer the “how”.

Common Sense Learners ask the question: How do I use what I know?

Example: (say) Trust God with what He asks you to do like David did!

The Dynamic Learners (Took)

This last portion asks students to add a part of themselves to what they’ve learned, to find creative ways for the whole class to take the lesson home with them. They enlarge the concept and add creative ideas.

Dynamic Learners ask the question: What can this become?

Example: In small groups, have students explain when they are afraid to follow God and talk through it as a group.

When you structure your lessons from now on, try structuring them in such a way that you cover each of these learning styles.

Want to know more? Read the book Learning Styles by Marlene LeFever or google “Gardner’s multiple intelligences.”

On April 18-20 in Rocklin, California preteen ministry pastors and leaders from across the country will gather to share stories, experiences fresh ideas, and connect with other people who share an affinity for this awkward-yet-amazing age group.

If you work with preteens then this conference is for you. You won’t find another one like it anywhere in the world.

See you there?

Only it’s one thing to tell you all to go check it out. And it’s an entire other thing to check it out for ourselves.

So we did. But we didn’t stop at that. We had a preteen click their way through the site and write their official review.

And so here it is, in the words of Jenna, a fifth grade girls from California:

When I first logged on to The Almighty Bible Club there were so many exciting things to do and see.  The point system is where when you do activities or games you can earn points.  You can use your points to get trading cards, which are used to complete games and activities.  The first thing that I went into was the book shelf.  It had different books of the Bible that were made into a story or summary.  I really liked the illustrations and how even children who can’t read can hear God’s word from the narrator.  You can also read biblical fiction stories.  At first when I clicked on the prayer garden, I thought it was a little hard to understand, but after that, I got the hang of it.  In the prayer garden you can plant prayers and earn points.  The game room was very fun.  It  helped me to remember more of the Bible.  Over all, I thought that The Almighty Bible Club was  very entertaining and would be a blessing for all who logged on.  I highly recommend the website.

But don’t just take Jenna’s word for it. Check it out for yourself! And then let us know what you think.

1. Bean Bag Chairs
2. The Almighty Bible
3. 9.5 Theses of Preteen Ministry
4. One Balloon
5. Why – When Preteens Ask Questions
6. Stories Worth Teaching
7. Small Group x2
8. You Are a Fish
9. From Wii Faith to Real Faith
10. I Have a Voice

What were your favorite posts from 2011? And what do you want to read more about in 2012?

Here’s another difficult one… ready?

Pray.

Oh, that’s an easy one, right? I’m mean, there is nothing foreign about the word “pray.” We toss it around all the time in church. “Let us pray.” “I’d like you all to pray right now.” “Who wants to pray for Jimmy’s grandma?” We even use it in our prayers, “Dear God, I pray for my aunt to get better.”

But do our unchurched preteens know what the word “pray” really means? For that matter, do my churched preteens really understand what that word “pray” means? Furthermore, is that my goal for preteens… to get them to pray more?

Our friend, Webster, defines pray mainly as “making a request”, whether to God, a god, or to anyone for that matter. But doesn’t the way that we use the word pray mean way more than that? I sure hope it means more than “making a request”.

So, I made a decision. For the rest of year, I’m not going to use the word pray with my preteens. At all. Instead I am going to use a word that simply says what I want them to do and understand:

Talk.

My goal is not to get preteens in the habit of praying. My goal is to get them in the habit of talking to God. That is how they build relationship with him. That is how the get to know God better. By talking to God.

Think of it this way. If I want to get to know you better, I wouldn’t say that we should go have coffee and pray. I say, “let’s go have coffee and talk”.

I want so badly for my preteens to understand that God desires a relationship with them and the only way to do that is to spend time with Him. Hang out and talk. Talk to God about everything in your life. Confess, request, adore, thank, read, share, laugh, giggle, question, process. Just talk!

So, what is your goal for your preteens? What will you say, the next time, you ask your preteens “to bow their heads, close their eyes, and…”? Define for them God’s desire for a relationship with them, and maybe, just maybe, that will help them build a better habit of talking to God.

Time Machines

From September to December I try things out and learn along the way, wishing I had a time machine so I could go back and try again with the things I’ve learned.

Only here’s my secret: I do have a time machine. I call it “January.” And instead of going backwards, it takes me forward.

I treat every January as a “beta test” month, trying out ideas I learn from the previous semester, testing them to see how they might integrate for the following year. Every Fall I learn things. Every winter I try things. And every spring I prepare for the cycle to start over again, a perpetual version 2.0.

So what am I trying this January? More small group time. Not longer small group time (because 5th grade boys can hardly make it through the 25 minutes we give them), but more of it.

More, not Longer

Currently we start our program with ten minutes for small groups to reconnect and catch up. And then after time learning from the Bible together we head back to small groups for 25 minutes of small group goodness. Only in January I’m adding a third small group space: before the teaching. This 20 minute space will be directed from the stage, giving specific things to do or questions to answer that will play a integral role in the teaching that follows.

My hope with this is to invite students to journey with their small group, growing and sharing their faith together. I want them to open their Bible and experience a teaching, ready and open to learn and be transformed by God.

Will it work? Maybe. But that’s the point of my annual beta test!